It may sound weird to you but she is 10 now and still sleeps hugging me. My arms are her pillows, she shares her whole day story and loves me alot, lots of huggs, kisses and sleeps.
It all started long back in her childhood, when I was worried about our future since I was her mother and father both. Holding those tiny little soft hands prayed whole night to All Mighty to show me direction. I hugged her and in her ears whispered “ILOVEYOU” “MAAMA Loves you alot baby”, and she replied “LOVE YOU TOO MAAMA”. For a second I thought she was not asleep, then I realised in sleep she replied. After that everyday I whispered and she replied with a smile on her face. That moment is like the happiness moment and I felt like God has send an angel to show me direction. And that’s right IAM here a successful business consultant in UAE, A MOTHER and A HAPPY WIFE of a HAPPY SOUL.
I don’t impress her with material. Instead I pay attention and give her lots of love and care.
“Children’s are like beautiful flowers they need to be nourished with lots of love and lots of care”. I may be not the best mother in this world but to my DAUGHTER i am the best MOM.
It’s really difficult for new parents to get along with their new born, their cry, feeding, cleaning up, constant anxiety of keeping them safe, and so on. We sometimes get feedup, cleaning and making them asleep. As parents we feel mercy towards that tiny think which totally depend on us.
It is far more difficult for a new parent, parent who never been in to a situation where he have to deal with a kid, it’s a rear case somehow we all play with some others kid but when it come to our own, Omg! It’s lot more scary, not gradual acceptance.
I am talking about those brave and strong Mom and Dad who accept children’s along with there loved once, they are really strong after knowing each and every bit they accepting those tiny little naughty humans. Don’t think it’s easy on them, not at all. They have to check on, that they are doing good enough to maintain peace and balance between there family life……
School life is full of exams and tests which give a lot of stress to both students and parents. With our rigid educational system and social pressure, it seems to only get worse. Trust me our kids are more precious than a few marks cards, degrees and social credits. So let’s try to help them. The exam stress can be reduced for students by parents, teachers, friends etc. Children’s may show few signs if you watch for these sign you can help the children’s facing stress.
> Worries a lot.
> Feel tense
> Gets lots of headache and stomach pain.
> Not sleeping well.
> Not eating or eating more than normal.
> Irritating and low in mood.
> Seem hopeless about the future.
> Seem negative.
These listed behavioural traits are related to stress and anxiety, are commonly seen in children and teens. Not necessarily in any particular order or everyone will be showing all or some traits with individually unique ways. Stress can be solved always when there is someone around them to ease the pressure of the exam and other social anxiety. Talk always with an open mind and trust on your children, then only they will feel safe to approach you when they are in need. let us discuss a few habitual ways we can encourage a healthy environment for children’s emotional well-being.
Make sure your child eats well; A balanced diet is important for your child’s health, reduce the usage of high fat, high sugar intake and high caffeine food (such as cola, sweets, chocolates, burger and chips). But most of the Indian parents choose to good old yelling to make them eat healthily, children’s get more frustrated of that. Stop yelling in any manner be polite and kind towards them. Encourage them into a healthy lifestyle by yourself choosing it in the first place. EAT HEALTHY!
Help your child get enough sleep; As per studies average sleep a child should get is of 10 to 12 hours. During the exam period, some teens don’t sleep the whole night and they prepare for exams. They don’t get sleep because of exam stress. When we sleep, the brain goes into a stage of recovery which in turn helps in memory and logical reasoning, which is important to perform in a written test. And always have the patience and trust to give them break even between the preparations of the hectic exams so they can do some relief with what they enjoy as leisure, again don’t yell at them if they taking more time. Explain to them politely sleep is more important.
Help them to study; Making a time table for revision always helps, every child is different so parents should observe which way their children like. Talk to them about revision portion by portion if they say they feel difficulty with any, help them out. Give them your idea to make charts, drawing or give them a practice test paper (model papers). Motivate them, remind them about their goal in life and so on. Support them talk with them. Tell them it is natural to feel nervous about exams but to use that nervousness positively will give them a positive result. Exercising help release stress and anxiety. Let them add their favourite hobby like music, painting, gaming into the timetable. Scientifically proven that listening to favourite music help reduce stress. Break-time during studies is important. Parents can ask them for a break and they can use it get some relax hours.
Don’t add to the pressure; Most of the children’s get stress of exam because of families, more than studies. Never complaint your child to another child. Avoid using words like,” she does well”, “Perform like him”, “They are lucky to have a talented child” and so on. Never appreciate other children in front of yours, children’s get demotivated by this actions. Instead appreciate your child in front of others, Motivate them. After each exam try to talk with them, talk about the part which they studies and they wrote it well rather than focusing on the question. Tell them to focus on the next exam more. Exam treat is a small bit which parents can celebrate after the exam finishes. A few hugs and acknowledge them for total dedication for exams. Some children don’t get over exam anxiety until results. Parents of such children have to give continues comfort, take them to a new place, a small picnic or a tour. Let them do the activities they like. By this, they will get little comfort.
After doing all the needful things you are failing, that is the time you go for professional help for your child. There is nothing wrong in taking your kid for emotional help, mental health is real and it can be treated like any other illness. This article is not to be considered as a professional tool, I am sharing my experiences and curated opinions of different experts. Hope this will give you a reality check on your ways and practices for your kids well being.
Today’s trending world, parents have to suffer a lot to maintain the balance of there budgets. We parents want to give our little ones the best of all. I see it as the biggest challenge for parents to fulfill there children’s list of desires. When we fail to fulfill they get fustrated and that irritation will soon turn in to tantrums and later into disobedience.
So parents can use my mom’s technic to overcome such a problem. Mom teached us to use the saved money to purchase our desired items. One more tip which I can give, which I had tried myself on my 9 year old. Which I call “A Budget Allowed”. Whenever we go for shopping I allowed her a budget, with which she can buy her toys, comics, gifts as her desire. I was amazed at the result I got, she started behaving like a responsible toy shopper, she learned to share, save for friends gifts calculated by herself each time. Later on she began to plan in advance and she realise, she has to get her toys from her budget so she started to make better use of it rather than toys only. Trust me guys I felt empowered of her and gave her a hug and appreciated, I feel kids need that more than money.
I shared this with my friends, fellow moms, they practiced same and her son who is the same age of my daughter he buys toys n save money n next purchase he buys for himself and his cousin’s and lastly he saves and bought a gift for his mom. Isn’t it good behaviour they learned caring same time. And eventually they will learn to manage money.
Try on this am so sure parents will see their kids change into superKids. And most important of all, this will bring an end to the embarrassment you had to deal with your kids trantrums at shopping, bcoz now your kid will be responsible and understand he is already provided with the allowance and it’s his responsibility now to spend on his desires.
My childhood always filled with lots of dolls and toys as most of the relatives lived abroad, when they visited me they bought toys, I never lack toys. In my childhood, I never cried for toys but ya chocolate, I always asked for it. I and my younger brother used to stay together with my mom. Ok! back to the topic of budgeting, earlier when I was 10 my mom taught me to save money and buy useful things, Either it will be chocolate or it will be useful school stuff. I often argue with my mom, why can’t she buy for me so I can save my money, but she never did. Slowly me and my younger brother learned to save money and spend that on us, we both enjoyed buying chocolates, pickles (nalika achar), stickers and icecreams. By the age of 14, I and my younger brother started buying pets like dove & rabbits, breed them and resell that with profit. This way we got a hobby to grow our savings and express our love for nature. With that savings we used to buy gifts for mom on her birthdays.
My motive to share my personal stories with you lovely people is to make you understand, rather than facilitating your kids with every desire use this opportunities to teach them life skills. In this fast phased society we all had awe stuck in the biltz and glamour of shopping shrees and offers. So financial freedom will be the most important life skills we all need to teach our kids, which starts with saving.
My mom always made clear that household work will be shared with my younger brother and me, every weekend other children’s were playing outside me and my younger brother use to clean the whole two store villa, me was 10 n my brother was 9. Relatives used to tell my mom it’s not good to make kids work and so on, but my mom never cared and she always teach both of us share the work and complete it. Today when we both are grown up, he is my good friend we share a real good bond more than any siblings can. Now also wen we go our home we have same habit that we make sure our home is clean we help each other n he help his wife and household activities, which I think is a very good habit. I never seen him humiliating women instead he is really humble person.
It is really important to raise your girls to fight gender norms, strive for equality and most of all, follow their dreams. However, it is also important to extend the same courtesy when parenting little boys. You need to invest some time steering your sons in the correct direction if you want them to tune out the sexism prevalent in society.
While raising a feminist son is definitely not easy, there are certain things you can teach your boy to change his perception of the women gender. Remember that it is important to practice what you preach for life lessons that actually last a lifetime.
1. No compliments for doing household work
Do you take pride if your son contributes to the household chores and praise him incessantly for the same? Maybe it is time you stopped swooning when men chip in to help in the chores that are essentially considered a woman’s responsibility. From cooking, cleaning to even taking care of little siblings, remind your son that no role is gender-specific. They do not need praise or compliment for doing household work which is essentially considered feminine.If you are guilty of assigning tasks like cooking and cleaning to your daughter and mowing the lawn to your son, maybe it is time to switch things a bit. Send your son to grocery shopping and let your daughter wash the car. It is important to teach your sons that gender has nothing to do with household chores.
Can you imagine a simple playground can be a not interesting for a child? Yes a play ground with different sports which child can enjoy and play, they dont enjoy it just because they are not good at that sports. A group of 4th grade girls playing shuttle, many girls stopped saying they don’t like playing it. The reason was they were not able to play it properly, they don’t know how to play that, the real technic to play it, so rather than saying that they don’t know to play they said don’t like to play this sports.
Many of us as a parent or as a teacher might have heard from a child that they don’t like it, all time its not about liking hidden thing is they lack CONFIDENCE in taking new chances. I just gave an example by relating it to a sports, in there daily life when ever they say i don’t like it or i don’t have interest to it, we should ask them the reason behind not liking. Tell them a reletive story of yours, something which says you were bad at that first when u started and other children used to laugh at you but you never gave up n all, this will give them a boosting power. Teach them practice leads to perfection.
Lets teach them practice is what makes man perfect, no one won at first attempt.
Real gardens of the world are children, they have to takecare with not just materialistic things but they have to be nourished through love,care and extra love n care.
Why iam supposed to talk about it? Why is this so important? I will try to explain it.
Children they are the future of the world by all means; what ever they become in life, there success, there journey; there travel should be Easy and Simple. They should not feel burdened with lots of books and academic exams, extra classes which they don’t like to go.
what i wanna talk about is a daily problem which a child faces. They start there day with negative energy when a parent yells to wake them up. Daily from the time they wakes up forcefully by parents untill bedtime. From school teachers yells at them again negative energy, rest of the children laugh at then for asking curious and ofbeat questions, even play ground not so friendly and fair. Automatically child who facing all this either go silent or else go voilent. To deal with such child parents should understand what they are going through for that parents should talk with them, motivate them , encourage them to do things in which they are good at. Few motivational stories which are not fictional, will help them come over.
Question : My 7 year old girl, she was good in studies and always willing to go to school turned into a total mess when i changed her to regular school after kindergarten. Its almost end of the year and I don’t know how to help her, this thing is really stressing me out.
Answer : she might be going through a phase where she have to deal with new teachers, new classmates total changed atmosphere than previous one. Children gets comfortable when they get full attention. This is a level up for her, she might not be understanding how to impress all, sometimes when students dont answer in the class becouse they feel shy other students laugh at them,such situations make them dimotivated, only a parent or a gardian can help her out.
First you stop stressing out, talk more with her ask her what all happed in school, what she studied with whom she talked and so on. Make a place in ur home where she can sit peacefully to read n write. If she feels difficulty to write show her how to do it easily get involved in her studies. Tell her stories about brellient students who later turned in to well known people. Let her dream. Best example you can give of APJ Abdul kalam. Daily tell her real stories of scientist and great leaders which will some how help her get motivated. which will bring her interest back.
” Children are like buds in a garden and should be carefully and lovingly natured, as they are the future of the nation and the citizens of tomorrow.” Jawaharlal Nehru
This world is full of amusing nature, in which every kid is a superstar they are talented in there own ways. We as a parent have to look for the talent our kid is blessed with. Some parents just dream about making there children to live there dreams, which i think not that much wrong but yes making them dream about something which they don’t want to be is not right. Let them choose there path we will have to be the preceptor. As parents we all want to give best to our kids, healthy food, best clothes; we focus more on materialistic things than nurture. We should teach our children not to be materialistic, keep them close to nature from the very early ages. According to research child’s ability to recognize different colors heats up around 18 months, the same time child begins to notice similarities and differences in shape, size and texture. But it will be a while longer before child’s able to name at least one color. Parents who take child to garden show them flowers, different birds and make them touch leafs, grass and water gradually these children builds there bond with nature. They are seeing the real things; they start observing the nature. Years after when they grow up they will ask a lots of questions and child who ask question are SuperKids. Parents should always be ready to answer them.
Parenting ConFusion 